Moonstruck
by Niamh is searching for a muse
Summary: Sometimes courage is not measured in battles or sorrow in death or pain in losses, sometimes strength isn't measured in blood. Not your typical story...I promise.
1. Default Chapter

This will serve as the disclaimer for the entire story: I don't own any of these characters, and I should mention that while a book called The History of the Moon does not exist I did not write any of the "selections" (excepting, of course, the selections pertaining directly to Sailor Moon or DBZ.)

Another note: The pieces of this story written as memory will be written in _italics._ -Niamh

You think you know me, but I've been lost in the stories, in the tales of my battles and my destiny, lies, all of them. I'm going to tell you a story, the real story, but I warn you, it wont be a happy one, real stories seldom are. It is a story of destiny, of dreams. It is a story of love and a story of loss; it is the story of my creation, and my destruction. It is a story set in memory, as stories often are, consequently, I cannot promise you that everything I tell will be exactly as it happened, I can only promise that it will be exactly as I remember.

"I told myself not to remember, but that was wrong too. Not remembering makes them stronger" The Onion Girl Charles de Lint

I sat alone in a white, white room. I was curled in a corner and I couldn't stop shaking. The memories, they'd started again. In bits, in flashes they came in no particular order. I struggled to put them together, to make them tell the story because I thought that if I could put the puzzle together, make it fit, force it into the right order, somehow it would make things better. I hadn't told anyone the story, not even them, though they deserved to know. 

One of them, I forget which one, said that if I got it out, put it on paper it would help. But I couldn't seem to put them in order, make the memories fit. Even now I struggle. But I tried, I still try.

I was curled in the corner because I thought it would be safer there. Safer, where no one could sneak up behind me, where I could see everything that came at me. Somewhere near, perhaps inside me, a voice that might have been my own spoke. "Is it better that way?" it asked. "Is it better to know?"

I wasn't sure, perhaps I would've rather let some unseen thing come and bash my head in. Then again, seeing things didn't make them go away. 

The veil that I wore to hide my face caught my breath, trapped it, made me hot, made me itch. Without thinking I reached up to scratch my face and gasped in pain. But there was always pain. My face hurt, my body hurt, the thing inside me hurt. No, I corrected myself, the thing did not hurt, it did not tear, or bite, the hurt was somewhere else. It grew inside me, this thing, sometimes I thought it would grow so large it would swallow me, and then I would grow inside of it, instead of it inside of me. All I really wanted was to have it out of me, I hated it. They told me I shouldn't, that it was too late to do anything about it, but I couldn't help it. I hadn't asked for this thing, hadn't wanted it. Every night I prayed to every god, every ancestor, every savior I could think of to save me, heal me, help me, but nothing ever happened, nothing ever changed. I wondered sometimes if any of them really existed, or if we truly were alone. 

I remember, when I was young, I saw a building being demolished. They just filled it full of explosives and blew it up, or blew it in I guess. I remember, just before they blew up the building there was this buzzing, it was an alarm, a warning to people that they were going to light the fuse, reminding people to stay away. I always associated that noise with destruction, I thought that just before a building fell down or just before a world fell apart there would be a buzzing, a warning to people to get out, to get away. But I always wondered, what would happen to people who didn't get out, who couldn't get away? What would happen to the people trapped inside when the building fell down, when the world fell apart?

Everyday one of the people who took care of me would come into my room, bringing me food, broth mostly, urging me to eat. I didn't remember their names, or refused to. The latter was probably truer. My identity had been taken from me, ripped from me. My name…was not my name anymore and I think I resented them theirs, refused to acknowledge them. I recognized them instead by other things, this one had black hair, but that was true of more than one. 

After they left I backed into my corner again. Before long I started to shake, and the memories overwhelmed me.

I remembered back, before I had shattered but after things started to fall apart. Somehow the memories of this not-so-perfect time comforted me in a way that nothing else could. Then, things certainly weren't perfect like they'd seemed when I was younger, but I still knew what was right and what was wrong, I still knew how to live. These memories seemed to give my life less perspective and I needed that. So I settled back into the only comfort I had, the burning and buzzing of a world about to fall apart, the noise that drowned out the silence of a world that already had.__

_I found myself in a new place, or a new time, a new something, I wasn't sure which, I just knew that this wasn't the home I'd been used to. I hadn't dropped in; I didn't fall from the sky, or open a door or plummet down a rabbit hole like Alice. The world just…shifted. The air thickened until I was sure I would suffocate, and then it…what? Fluctuated? Quivered? I don't know, all I know is something happened and I was somewhere else or…well you get the picture._

_ I knew that the scouts would not accept such a simple clean disappearance; they would come looking for me. So I started walking to God knows where, knowing that I oughtn't be here when they came. So I walked and I walked and I walked, I didn't bother to note my surroundings or the position of the sun. I hadn't a clue where the hell I was so there was no point in noting whether I headed east or west._

_ Eventually I came to a town. At least this place was civilized, that would make a few things easier. I knew that I would have to find a way to support myself; it was impossible to simply rely on "the kindness of strangers" because a stranger's kindness isn't always kindness._

'Neither is a friends' I told myself, but whether the wisdom came from the past or the present I wasn't sure.


	2. Moonstruck Ch2

A selection from The History of the Moon, a volume chronicling myths and superstitions surrounding the lone satellite of earth, author unknown.

Moon-struck

Dazed or distracted with romantic sentiment. Affected by insanity; crazed. (From the belief the moon caused insanity.) 

-The American Heritage Dictionary

Moonstruck

Mentally affected or deranged by the supposed influence of the moon; lunatic. Produced by the supposed influence of the moon. "Moonstruck madness." –Milton Made sick by the supposed influence of the moon. 

-Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary

Moonstruck also moonstricken

Adjective: Afflicted with or exhibiting irrationality and mental unsoundness: brainsick, crazy, daft, demented, disordered, distraught, dotty, insane, lunatic, mad, maniac, maniacal, mentally ill, off, touched, unbalanced, unsound, wrong. Informal: bonkers, cracked, daffy, gaga, loony. Slang: bananas, batty, buggy, cuckoo, fruity, loco, nuts, nutty, screwy, wacky. Idioms: around the bend, crazy as a loon, mad as a hatter, not all there, nutty as a fruitcake, off, (or out of) one's head, off one's rocker, of unsound mind, sick in the head, s_tark raving mad._

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Before you flame me…I know that you all must be extremely confused at this point but just trust me on this one, okay?

-Niamh


	3. Moonstruck Ch3

"I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." Bob Dylan

When I was younger my family would have huge meals together when things went wrong. My mother would spend all day cooking, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans and cake, lots and lots of cake. We would sit down and eat together. I don't think that we ever talked about what it was that had gone wrong, I guess we didn't have to, it was enough to sit and eat together, something in it seemed to make things better.

So, true to form, when my mother found out what had happened my entire family showed up, each carrying Tupperware bowls and baskets full of food. I'm not sure how they ever found out, how they ever got there. Someone called them I supposed, but I didn't know whom. They lived in a completely different world than I and it baffled me how they had so easily crossed it's borders when I had such a hard time finding my way home. 

My family came into my world bearing every sort of comfort food they could think of. We laid it all on the floor because my small table was only large enough for me, though I'd never used it. After we laid the food down we began to eat, or rather they began to eat and I began to watch them. It was impossible for me to eat without moving my veil aside, and it was impossible to move it aside without revealing what lay behind it. They didn't notice at first, they were too busy ignoring too much. They ignored the veil, ignored the thing that grew inside me, ignored the way I trembled and the way I crept further and further into the corner, so, for a while they ignored the fact that I did not eat. But my mother was too observant and too confident in the power of the family dinner, she reached a hand up, trying to twitch my veil aside. "Eat dear" she insisted. "You have to eat." 

From somewhere deep inside myself I heard as I let out an animal scream, I saw as my mother jumped back in fright, and then I heard nothing, I saw nothing as I drowned in the memories.

_I waited in my little room, in my cell. I could hear feet on the steps but I could not tell who was coming. They all had their own style, each of them had different things they liked to do, different sorts of pain they liked to inflict. As the door opened I felt a sort of morose relief. It was him, and he was alone, oddly enough that meant that I would not be raped, for one reason or another he never raped me, he always brought in others for that._

_ He held a small bottle in his hand and as he looked at me the feral glint that had always lain just beneath the surface of his eye, frightened me more than usual. "Good morning sweetheart," he said with a snicker, "I've brought a special surprise for you today." Setting the bottle carefully on the table he freed me from the wall. He supported me, almost gently, as I struggled to walk to the bed, where he chained me once more. Slowly, deliberately, the bottle was lifted and the cap unscrewed. "Pretty, isn't it?" he said as he filled a syringe with the amber liquid. "I found it in the storeroom, I wonder what it does, let's see shall we?" He took the syringe, stuck it into my cheek and emptied the amber liquid into my face. I screamed in anguish, it was the first time in a long while that their torment had gotten to me. The pain was almost indescribable it was as if fire had been injected into my face and was consuming it from the inside out. _

I'm not sure how long he stayed, I'd lost track of time, but by the time he'd finished every molecule of my poor battered face screamed in agony.

My family sat and stared at me in shock. "I think you'd better leave." I said shakily.

"Nonsense" my mother said, busying herself with righting the glasses that had toppled during my outburst. "We've come for a family dinner and that's-"

"Mother!" I interrupted her. "You can't expect a few pieces of chicken and some mashed potatoes to make everything better, things don't work that way."

"It always used to" she said, looking very much like a small child.

"Things have changed mother. Back- before…before all of this…yes, dinner helped. It helped because I knew ahead of time that there were ways I could deal with the things that had happened, ways to get by, get through. But now…this…sometimes I barely know how to keep on living, let alone get past what's happened."

"There's always a way honey."

"Is there?" I screamed, tearing off my veil. "Tell me mother, tell me how to get past this, I'm not even Usagi anymore!"

My mother gasped and looked away and apart from sputtering a bit, she said nothing at all, what was there to say? I knew what she saw. I had looked in a mirror not long after I had escaped and been found. My face was a mass of scar tissue; there was hardly any feature that even distinguished me as human, save for the two pools of blue that stared out from behind the wretchedness.

Very shortly thereafter the food was packed and my family was out the door with only a few quiet, awkward murmurs of goodbye. They never came back, I guess crossing into my world was more difficult than they'd expected.

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Okay, there was chapter three. I know you are confused, but trust me; there is a point to all the insanity. Please review, tell me what you liked or what you didn't like, you could even tell me that you have a dog named Phillip it doesn't matter it at least tells me that people are reading this. I won't be a review whore and demand a certain number before I update, that isn't why I write this, but reviews are nice, well, there's my speech, thanks.

-Niamh


	4. Moonstruck Ch4

A selection from The History of the Moon.

Mawu is the supreme creator god according to the Fon people of Abomey (Republic of Benin). Mawu represented the Moon that brings the night and cooler temperature in the African world. Mawu is depicted as an old mother who dwells in the West. Coolness is an expression of wisdom and age for the Fon people. 

Mawu has a partner called Liza that is associated with the Sun. Mawu and Liza are regarded as an unseparable unity at the basis of the universal order. Together they created the universe. They used their son Gu, the divine tool, to shape the world. They were also aided by the cosmic serpent, Da. Mawu and Liza were twins. 

When there is an eclipse of the Sun or the Moon, the Fon people think that Mawu and Liza are making love. Mawu and Liza are the parents of seven pairs of twins. These twins are gods with different domains. Mawu is the goddess of fertility, joy and rest. Liza is the god of day, heat and strength. 

Coyolxauhqui represents the Moon in the Aztec mythology. Her name means "Golden Bells." She was slain and dismembered by her brother, the Sun god Huitzilopochtli because she instigated their other four hundred sisters and brothers to kill their mother, Coatlicue. 

Coatlicue was magically impregnated with Huitzilopochtli after a ball of white feathers fell from the heavens and touched her breast. Coatlicue's children thought that their mother had disgraced them with her mysterious pregnancy. Huitzilopochtli, born fully clothed in a blue armor from his mother, killed Coyolxauhqui and his other four hundred star sisters and brothers. 

Coatlicue regretted such violence. Thus, Huitzilopochtli cut off Coyolxauhqui's head and threw it into the sky to form the Moon, aglow with the golden color of her bells. Huitzilopochtli was also known as the god of war and the chief god of Tenochtitlan, the Aztec capital city. 

According to Hinduism, every part of the cosmos is seen as being a manifestation of an underlying divinity. Time is conceived as the endless repetition of the same long cycle where gods, demons, and heroes repeat their mythological actions. In Hindu mythology, Soma represents the god of the Moon. 

He is depicted riding through the sky in a chariot drawn by white horses. Soma was also the name of the elixir of immortality that only the gods can drink. The Moon was thought to be the divine storehouse of the elixir. Since the elixir was an intoxicating drink, the god Soma was also associated with drunkenness. 

When the gods drink soma, it is said that the Moon wanes because the gods are consuming its immortal properties. Some people think that the Moon is inhabited by a hare. That is why all hares are viewed as incarnations of Soma.

Diana was an ancient Italian goddess of woodland. In Capua and in Aricia, a locality near Rome, there are still shrines dedicated to the old Italian goddess. Her shrine in Aricia was on the shores of the lake Nemi. For that reason, she was named Diana Nemorensis, Diana of the Woods. The rites dedicated to her were particularly brutal. 

Human sacrifices were offered to the indigenous goddess. Diana's priest was an escaped slave. Every new priest had to kill their predecessors to obtain their offices. At Capua, people believed that the preservation of the city depended on the fate of a long-lived hind sacred to the goddess. 

As the result of the influence of the Greek colonies in southern Italy around the sixth century BC, Diana became identified with the Greek goddess of woodland Artemis acquiring the attributes of this latter. For the Greeks, Artemis was also the personification of the Moon and her twin brother Apollo was associated with the Sun. Her father and mother were Jupiter and Latona. 

Diana believed her virgin body was very sacred and not for a male's eyes. One day the hunter, Actaeon, was wandering around and stumbled upon Diana bathing. Diana became so angry, she turned Actaeon into a stag. Now he was unable to speak, and so no one would ever hear about Diana's naked body. Actaeon was killed by his own hunting dogs, because he couldn't tell them he was their master. 

In Greek mythology, Artemis was born with her twin brother Apollo in the island of Delos. Their parents were Zeus and Leto. Artemis was the goddess of woodland and the personification of the Moon. She was also known as the goddess of the hunt. 

She was depicted as a eternally young and skilled huntress. She was always accompanied by a group of her attendants, the beautiful virgins the Amazons, who were warriors and huntresses like her. Artemis was the symbol of virginity. She punished those who would violate her virginity or that of her attendants. 

Artemis and her brother Apollo had vindictive tempers. According to a Greek legend, they killed most of the children of Niobe, who had insulted her mother Leto comparing favorably his children with the twins Artemis and Apollo. In another occasion, furthermore, they were said to have killed Tityius for attempting to rape their mother Leto. Romans identified Artemis with their goddess Diana. 


	5. Moonstruck Ch5

Note: I have noticed that the last lines of the scenes in memories have a tendency to become mysteriously un-italicized, oh well, just keep that in mind.

-Niamh 

"…memories can be like wounds. They're not easily forgotten because they leave a scar as a constant reminder." "The Wishing Well" Charles De Lint

I think what he did to my face hurt most of all. Everything hurt, there were some things that caused more physical pain than the acid, but wounds heal and most scars can be hidden, but my face…It took a long time after that, for me to be able to cry again, I think the acid damaged my tear ducts or something. But now…now it seems like I cry all the time. 

Things were getting worse, I could feel it, so could they. They looked at me as if they were watching some horrible disaster from a great distance. I could see the worry and the sadness that clouded their eyes when they came to me, I could hear the concern laced in their voices. I suppose it was a little like that for them, there was nothing they could do to make me better, no miraculous healing elixir. All they could do was watch and wait.

In truth, that was all I could do as well. The memories, the scars, refusing to be forgotten had taken control and all I could do was watch and wait until they had finished.

_I found a job, nothing special, waitresing at a small café. The pay wasn't spectacular, but it was enough to pay for the rent in a small roach infested tenement building on the not so nice side of town. It was hard, the day I went to find an apartment. I was unused to worrying about finances and my search began far above my means._

_ I started in the nice part of town. The apartments there were all gorgeous, spacious, wonderfully decorated, and wildly expensive, so, reluctantly, I moved my search to the meaner sections of town. Even the apartments here were above my resources. I found myself increasingly embarrassed as I was forced to turn the realtors down. My hunt was then pressed into the parts of the town that were the most wretched. The search for housing then turned upside down. I found that I could (barely) afford the rooms here; the trouble now was finding one I could live in. The one I finally found wasn't so bad, I suppose. The roaches there were no larger than the roaches anywhere else (I had encountered ones the size of small dogs other places). The roof mostly kept the rain off my head and if I wrapped my self in a few blankets, it was almost warm. I was on the tenth floor of a building with no elevator, a building that more than a few miracles kept standing, but it was a room all my own, so I took what I could get. _

_At night, after ten hours of waiting tables, cleaning up spills and washing dishes, I dragged myself through the badly lit streets, struggled up the twenty flights of stairs and fell, exhausted, into my lumpy bed. I grew to be very self-centered there, I had to survive on my own and I didn't have time to worry about anyone else. Besides, it seemed that this place had it's own batch of super heroes and sailor moon was not needed. That was the one thing in my life at that time that I found myself thankful for. I knew that if I did nothing else I had to maintain a low profile, I could not let the scouts find me here, and I could not do that and fight in a colorful miniskirt at the same time. _

_ It was a strange world I had landed myself in; not at all like the home I had left. The streets where teeming with inhabitants, not all of them human. There were pigs and turtles and god knew what else. It frightened me at first, to see so many strange things co-existing, I was worried, coming from a world full of racism and sexism and countless other detrimental –isms, that these creatures who where so different from each other, could not live in any sort of peace, but they did. Crime was relatively low, all things considered, and even in the section of town that I called home people had some semblance of safety. _

_ I had mentioned the super heroes that inhabited this world; they were perhaps the ones to credit with this peace. They were warriors, men who fought for truth, justice and all that crap. I had not seen them, but they were spoken of as "golden warriors" fair-haired soldiers who carried a certain radiance about them. I had heard that these warriors had the ability to sense energy; I wondered if that wasn't the reason they started following me. I was walking home when I could feel one of them watching me, they followed me home and I could sense them through the night. I'm not sure how I knew it was them, it was simply a certainty that I had, someone was watching me and it was one of them. This went of to a few days before I got fed up. _

_ I was walking home after a particularly long day at work when, under the soft orange glow of the streetlights, I was jumped by three men. I fought back as best I could, but I never did have any considerable strength while I was detransformed. The men dragged me back into the alley and began beating me senseless. Oddly enough this enraged me, if they were going to attack me they could at least take my money, then I would at least have a reason for it all. But they didn't seem at all interested in that, they just wanted the mindless violence. And through all of this some "golden warrior" sat in the shadows and watched silently, doing nothing. Finally I'd had enough. "Are you just going to lurk in the darkness forever, or are you going to give me a hand?" I yelled through already swollen lips. Just then I saw a bright light flash out of the corner and the men who had been beating me to a pulp a moment before fell to the ground. A man with sapphire eyes and improbable hair stepped from the shadows where the beam of light had been emitted. "Thanks." I said softly_

_ "You could have handled them," he said._

_ "What?"_

_ "I've been watching you for three days, you could have handled them."_

_ I looked at him incredulously. "Look" I said, "I'm tired, and all I want to do now is drag myself home and crawl into bed. So thank you anyway, even if you refuse to be thanked. Goodbye." I turned to leave._

_ "Your hurt." He said._

_ Reluctantly I turned around. "Your observant." I said sarcastically. The man gave me a smirk that sent chills down my spine._

_ "Come on." He said, extending a hand to me. "I'll take you to my place, there are people who can help you there." _

_ I looked at him, my distrust apparent in my eyes, but, as he had said, he had been watching me for three days now, if he had wanted to do something wouldn't he have already done it? I took his hand reluctantly, and then he did something I did not expect. He pulled me in close so that I was pressed against his chest. _

_"I-"_

_ A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. Something akin to a shiver ran up my spine, but whether it was pleasure or fear that incited this reaction I did not know. In a moment we were in the air, it took my breath away to see the blue-green beauty of this world, but soon we were flying too quickly for me to see anything at all. I slammed my eyes shut as a wave of nausea hit me and willed it to pass, it would not do to vomit all over this man's chest. Suddenly I felt my feet touch solid ground again and the journey that was traveled at light speed yet seemed to last forever was over and I opened my eyes._

_ I had been taken to one of the largest, and the most oddly shaped houses I had ever seen. It squatted low on the ground like a bubble on the surface of a pond and seemed to be made almost entirely of concrete. The man who had brought me there was already waiting impatiently in the doorway and I hurried to him._

_ I walked briskly through the gigantic building, following the man with impossible hair and an even stranger name. He had told it to me on the flight over, Trunks, I think it was, I wondered what on earth his mother had been thinking. We stopped finally when we reached what seemed to be some sort of medical wing. I was instructed to sit on a table as the man, Trunks, left to get somebody._

_ When he returned my throat tightened and my heart raced, following him was a blue haired woman in a white lab coat. 'Shit' I thought. But a moment later I realized that this woman was not the Mercurial scout. The woman examined me, patched me up and directed me to a room where I was to lie down and rest._

_ I did not rest, as much as I needed it I could not sleep. The bed in my horrible apartment was hard and more than a little lumpy, this bed however, was soft and downy. It was as if I were sleeping in the clouds. The problem was, I kept waking up just as soon as I had fallen asleep, afraid I would plummet to the ground._

_ The next morning I was introduced to Trunks' friends, the "golden warriors" I mentioned earlier. They called themselves "earth's special forces" I thought it sounded a little ridiculous, but I suppose it wasn't any sillier that running around in miniskirts and calling yourself a "scout"._

_ "This is Usagi." Trunks said, "She's that girl we were talking about."_

_ I suppose I should have been offended at being referred to as 'that girl', but, in truth, I wasn't paying any attention. I looked around in awe at the men; my earlier disdain for the golden fighters had all but vanished. These men absolutely radiated power, I had no way to sense their strength, no computer like Ami's, but I could feel it humming in the room._

_ "Not very powerful, is she?" One of them said._

_ "No." Trunks said simply, "she wouldn't stand against Freiza or the like, but I would guess she could hold her own against your regular crooks." This confused me; he knew that was wrong, he had seen those guys beat me to a bloody pulp._

_ The short man who had spoken earlier snorted indignantly, his eyes flashing. "Lot of good that'll do us."_

_ Trunks shrugged, "you told me to watch her, so I did."_

_ "We never told you to bring her here!" the man yelled vehemently. The men's anger rose and with it their power, its hum was almost unbearable now and I struggled to not stuff my fingers in my ears. Most of the men in the room glared angrily at each other, all except for two, one a short, bald man, the other tall and green stood in the back of the room looking on confused. I grew frightened as their anger flared higher; with a sense of fatalism I put my hand on Trunks' arm. _

_ "Hey" I said, "calm down"._

_ In his anger Trunks flung his arm out and I went flying into the wall. That seemed to diffuse the situation as well as anything could have. The two men who had been standing in the back rushed forward to help me up. Another two, a father and son as I remembered, came forward as well, their anger mostly faded from their eyes. "Are you alright?" the younger one asked._

_ "Yeah," I said, lifting a hand to my head, where a not so dull ache pounded. "Just got the wind knock out of me." While these four fussed over me the shorter one, whose hair stood straight up on his head, stalked out of the room. Trunks still stood in the center, his rage not yet dissipated, I swore I could feel it coursing through the air, but the others seemed not to notice. _

_ This man frightened me; I would have to watch him._


	6. Moonstruck Ch6

Rona was the daughter of the sea god Tangaroa. She was the Tide Controller. One night she was carrying a bucket with stream water back home to her children, when the path became dark. The Moon slipped behind the clouds making it impossible to see anything. As Rona was walking, she hit her foot against a root that was sticking out of the ground. She was so upset that she couldn't see the root, she made some unkind remarks about the Moon. 

The Moon heard her remarks and put a serious curse on the Maori people. The Moon took offense and grabbed Rona and her water bucket. Many people today see a woman with a bucket in the Moon. It is said that when Rona upsets her bucket, it rains. This Maori story symbolizes the influence of the Moon on the rain and on the waters of the Earth, and especially on the tides. 

In a different Maori myth, Rona is male. He travels around looking for his wife, and eventually ends up on the Moon. To this day, the two take turns eating each other. This is how the phases of the Moon were explained. Both would replenish themselves in the live waters of Tane. They began their battle once again. 

Anningan is the name of the Moon god of some Inuit tribes that live in Greenland. The Inuit are inhabitants of Alaska, Greenland and the Arctic. The word Inuit means "people." Its singular form is Inuk. The Athapascan speaking tribes of Alaska and Canada used to address the Inuit people with the offensive term of "Eskimo" which means "eaters of raw meat." 

The Inuit people believe that once Anningan raped his sister, the Sun goddess Malina, and that he stubbornly continues to chase her in the sky. That is why the Sun and the Moon appear at different times in the sky. Anningan is so tenacious in his eternal pursuit of his sister that he neglects to eat. He becomes more and more thin until he is forced to come down to Earth and hunt for food. To satisfy his hunger, the Moon disappears from the sky for three days each month. 

The Inuit believe that the Moon and the Sun hate each other and all members of the opposite sex. Occasionally, the moon-god reaches the sun-goddess and rapes her again, causing a solar eclipse. During a solar eclipse, men are supposed to remain at home if they do not want to become ill. Diseases are sent by Malina and Anningan upon those who offend them. Thus, during a lunar eclipse, women do not leave their homes. 

Moreover, when a man dies or a girl is born, the Inuit believe there is a ring around the Moon which expresses the grief of the moon god, Anningan. The sun goddess expresses happiness for the same events, appearing twice in parhelion. Parhelion is an illusion of two or more suns, caused by certain atmospheric conditions. 

Tsuki-Yomi was the Moon god according the oldest Japanese religion, Shinto, which means "the way of the gods." Tsuki-Yomi was born from the right eye of the primeval being Izanagi. His sister, the Sun goddess Amaterasu, was born from the left eye of Izanagi, and from the nose the storm god Susanowo. 

Tsuki-Yomi initially lived in the Heavens with his sister. But once, Amaterasu sent her brother as her representative to the goddess of food, Uke Mochi. To celebrate, the goddess of food offered him a wonderful meal, created from her mouth and nose. Tsuki-Yomi was so disgusted that he killed Uke Mochi. 

When Amaterasu learned of her brother's misdeed, she was so angry that she did not want to see him anymore. Since then, brother and sister have lived apart, alternating in the sky. That is why the day always follows the night. 


	7. Moonstruck Ch7

Note: I want to thank everyone for reviewing, it really means a lot. A few answers, please note that chapter 4 did say that the goddess Diana was identified with the goddess Artemis, not that she was the goddess of the moon herself…hmm, let's see…. oh, Selene will be turning up later as well, I do know about the three embodiments, I did not use the crone however, oh well. I think the last issue that requires addressing is the whole Niobe thing, I think your right, I got most of the "selections" from another website that appeared reliable for the mythologies, (apparently not for the Greek ones however) I didn't happen to catch that particular mix up when I proof read it, sorry, I'll try harder next time. Please keep reviewing; please keep catching the mistakes that I may have missed.

-Niamh

"Love and good intentions simply don't solve everything." (Sorry, I can't remember where I got this quote from.)

_I want to get one thing straight, I was happy there at Capsule Corp. I was terrified, but I was happy. Still, a strange clamp of foreboding gripped at my heart, I wanted to get out of there, I didn't want to lead the scouts to those people. I mentioned this once to Gohan, he was the one I could talk to, his father was constantly training, I wondered sometimes if he didn't have something that he needed to get away from at Capsule Corp. Vegita was simply never around, or, if he was his mood was extremely forbidding. And Trunks…Trunks still worried me, so I spoke to Gohan, apparently the only sane one in this group of saiyans. "You can't leave," he said, crossing his arms over his chest. "I won't have it." He smiled slightly at me and I couldn't say no._

_ I was given a room in Trunks' house, it wasn't anything special, a bed, a window, a desk, but it was better than my apartment so I counted myself lucky. Earth's Special Forces spent a lot of time over there; sometimes they were training, sometimes just sitting around talking. Most of time I could feel their eyes on me, burning into me, as if they were waiting for me to do something. They watched me a lot, some more than others and it made me a little anxious. I tried to give myself a reason for their almost constant vigilance, sometimes I wondered if they weren't a little suspicious of me, sometimes I thought that they just wanted to help and much of the time I thought perhaps I was just imagining it._

_ In the short time I had known them I had formed a strange bond with these men. I could feel it when they were angry and they seemed to be angry a lot. I would be walking through a room when one of them would just explode, I could feel it as their rage built and their power flared higher, it frightened me. But sometimes they didn't get angry at all, sometimes we would just sit around and joke, even Vegeta in his own way, all except for Trunks. He could be kind when he tried, but there was always this fury bubbling just below the surface. I could feel it and sometimes I could see it in his eyes. He had reason to be angry, so I had been told. Trunks came from the future, a future where everything had been destroyed, where he had nothing left. I tried to give Trunks a break because of this, but I couldn't help worrying. Trunks was one of those who watched me a lot, Gohan was the other._

_ I came in late nearly every night. I found it hard to stay in the house. I felt stifled, the palpable power of these men gave me a headache and the air seemed to crackle with anticipation. Something was coming, things were changing and I wasn't sure I liked it._

_ So I went out at night, mostly just to walk around, despite my worry and anxiety I could still appreciate the beauty of this place. There was a wood, not far from Capsule Corp. I found it one day on my late night ramblings. It was filled with ash trees, when the wind blew their leaves shivered like they were dancing to a music I could not hear. Ferns and wild blueberries littered the ground and on more than one occasion I returned 'home' with a blue-stained tongue. I'd asked about this wood and had been told it was called the black forest, which seemed silly to me. This 'black' forest was greener than any forest I'd ever seen; it was almost as if whoever or whatever had created the world had looked to this wood to create every other wood that ever existed._

_One night I found a field of flax in bloom so vast that it resembled an ocean, the wind sending minute waves through the meadow. That night I gorged myself on blueberries because I wasn't sure how much longer they'd be around and I loathed going back inside. When I finally did return I walked quietly through the house, trying not to wake anyone. Nearly all of Earth's Special Forces had moved in at that point, yet another reason to suspect that something was up. _

_"Your out late." Spoke a voice from the shadows._

_I jumped and the shoes that I had taken off at the door so as to walk more quietly fell with a thump to the floor. "Jesus Gohan!" I hissed as the half saiyan stepped from the shadows, "you scared the shit out of me! What is it with you guys and lurking in the shadows?"_

_"Sorry," he said, bending to pick up the shoes that lay forgotten on the floor. "But you shouldn't be wandering alone so late, it isn't safe."_

_"I can take care of myself." I answered defiantly._

_"Of course you can," Gohan said, handing me my shoes. For a moment a vague shock of understanding passed through me, I thought I saw, in his eyes, the reason he'd been watching me so closely._

_"I'd better go to bed," I said softly. I turned to go but his hand shot out; he grabbed my arm and whipped me around. "Gohan I-" but before I could finish he pressed me against the wall and claimed my mouth with his own. I put my hands on his chest and tried to push him away, but his saiyan strength was too much for me. _

_When he pulled away I tried to speak again. "Gohan wait-" but his free hand had moved to my upper thigh and he was slowly kneading it. I gasped and he snickered softly. "Mmmm, blueberries" he whispered quietly."_

_Involuntarily I whimpered._

_"Do you know what you've been doing to me?" he asked, his face a hair's breadth from mine. "Walking around in this skirt? Swinging those hips?" he grabbed my waist and thrust my hips into his._

_"Gohan-" I tried again, but he took advantage of my parted lips and kissed me again. In the end I responded to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kiss. His arms snaked around my waist and crushed me against him. When his hands started to roam I tried again to push away, it terrified me, the passion this demi-saiyan was exhibiting, I was afraid he would devour me with it. But when I tried to push away I heard him growl low in his throat like an animal, and I dared not resist anymore._

_Eventually he pulled away, and when I looked into his eyes again I saw something new. Besides the raw, animal passion there was…what…confusion? I wasn't sure and he turned and stalked away before I could decide._

_I stood there, still pressed against the wall. As I slid down to sit on the floor I was so damned confused, I wasn't sure what was what anymore, wasn't sure what I wanted. I couldn't deny that I had enjoyed what had happened, though it scared me, but at the same time I felt guilty. God, after everything I still felt guilty. Damn right things were changing._


	8. Moonstruck Ch8

Ix Chel, the "Lady Rainbow," was the old Moon goddess in Maya mythology. Mayan people lived from around A.D. 250 in the territories that today are part of Guatemala and the Mexican province of Yucatan. The Mayans had a system of writing that has been only recently decoded. 

Scientists have been able to decipher the content of some Mayan books that have survived until today. Mayans associated human events with Moon phases. They observed a war-avoidance period during lunar eclipse intervals. 

Ix Chel was depicted as a malevolent old woman wearing a skirt with crossed bones and with a serpent in her hand. She had as an assistant, a sky serpent, who was said to possess all the waters of the heavens in its belly. She often carries with her a great jug which she overturns to send calamitous floods and rainstorms on the Earth. Surprisingly, her spouse was the benevolent Moon god Itzamna. 

The Character of Ix Chel also has a benign aspect. She was worshipped because she protected weavers and women in childbirth. 

Iae represents the Moon god for the Mamaiurans, an Amazon Indian tribe living along the banks of the Xingu river in Brazil. According to a Mamaiuran legend, at the beginning of time it was always night and the Indian tribes were forced to live in perpetual fear of attack from wild animals. The light could not reach the Mamaiurans because the wings of the birds blocked the sky. 

Iae and his brother, Kuat, decided to steal some light from the vulture god Urubutsin, king of the birds. The two brothers hid themselves in a corpse, and waited until the birds approached. As soon as Urubutsin landed on the corpse to eat the maggots that it was supposed to contain, Kuat grasped the Urubutsin's leg. Unable to get away and deserted by his followers, Urubutsin was forced to compromise with the two brothers. 

He agreed that he would share daylight with the Mamaiurans. To make the light last for long time, it was established that day should alternate with night. As a result, Kuat became associated with the Sun and Iae with the Moon. 

In ancient times, Chinese people believed that there were twelve Moons as there were twelve months in one year. Likewise, Chinese people believed there were ten Suns as there were ten days in the Chinese week. The mother of the twelve Moons was the same of that of the ten Suns. 

At the beginning of each month, the mother of the twelve Moons, Heng-O, washed her children in a lake at the extreme western side of the world. Then each Moon, one after the other would travel in a chariot for a month long journey to reach the east side of the world. There, the Suns would begin their journey. 

It was believed that the Moons were made of water, and either a hare or a toad were living in their interior. The name "mother of moons" is strictly associated with that of Heng-o, considered in the modern folk-lore a Moon goddess. According to an ancient legend that had survived until our days, Heng-o was married with the Divine Archer Yi. 

Yi had killed Heng-o's brother and spared the life of the Moon goddess. In gratitude, Heng-o consented to marry with the Archer. But later she fled to the Moon after having stolen from her husband the herb of immortality that grew on the soil of the Western Paradise. In the Moon, Heng-o became a toad. 

Sin was the Sumerian Moon god. Sumerians were living more than three thousand years ago in Mesopotamia. Mesopotamia is the ancient name of the region that corresponds to the valleys of Tigris and Euphrates rivers. Today Mesopotamia is located in the territories of the states of Iraq and Kuwait. 

Sin was worshipped in the city of Ur. The high priest of his temple, chosen from the royal family, was viewed as Sin's spouse. Sin was the descendant of the sky god An. His parents were the air god Enlil and the grain goddess Ninlil. Sin was depicted as a "fierce young bull, thick of horns, perfect of limbs, with a beautiful bird of blue". 

The Moon god had several different names that referred to different phases of the Moon. The name Sin indicated the crescent Moon, Nanna the full Moon, and Asimbabbar the beginning of each lunar cycle. 

Sin was born from the rape of the grain goddess Ninlil by Enlil. For this crime, Enlil was banished by the assembly of the gods to live in the underworld. When Ninlil realized she was pregnant, she decided to follow Enlil to the world of the dead to let him witness the birth of his child. Unfortunately the birth of the child in the underworld would have imprisoned him forever in Hades. 

Thus, Enlil and Ninlil copulated three more times to offer the three children who were going to be born to the infernal deities. At last, their first child Sin could ascend to the heavens to light the night sky. This myth related to Sin's birth explains why Sumerians viewed a lunar eclipse as an attack of demons against the Moon. During the lunar eclipse, Sumerian kings used to wash themselves believing these rites could bring the purification of the Moon. 


	9. Moonstruck Ch9

Talysmin, a few answers for you: please do remember that the chapters in italics are all in memory, also, (though I know it was a vague reference) please note that the memories are not in order (it said that in chapter one…though I don't blame you for being confused). The reason that they are all at Capsule Corp. is, as of yet, unexplained, you'll just have to wait. Any other questions will (probably) be answered later in the story. 

Misty: Thank you very much…yes you will get an explanation for Gohan's behavior, just not yet. As for your final question…I'll be the first one to admit here that I dropped the ball…no I have no clear reason for Mirai Trunks to be hanging around (Gohan certainly isn't eleven) sorry, I'll see if I can fix that in later chapters.

For the rest of you: Thank you very much for your questions and comments…. and always remember that I promised you that this wasn't your usual story, just wait and you'll see.

-Niamh

P.S. I'm sorry these chapters are so short, that's just how they turned out.

"If your mind is attuned to beauty, you find beauty in everything." Jean Cook

I sat alone in my room, still trembling. If ever I find myself able to laugh again, I think I will laugh at my own naiveté. I had been happy there, despite the cold lump of fear that had always lain in my stomach, in spite of the fist of foreboding that had always clutched at my heart, I had been happy. Even now, knowing what I know, having seen what I have seen, being what they made me, I still find comfort in the memories I have of Capsule Corp., in the dreams of the last period of happiness I can recall. But I was quickly running out of happy times to remember. Soon these memories would fade into those filled only with pain and tears, soon the happiness I knew at Capsule Corp. would be torn from me.

I went to the window for the first time since I'd arrived back here. This was the first time I'd seen the sun since I'd escaped, nearly the first time I'd ventured out of my corner. I hadn't left this room in nearly six months, and, aside from my family, my caretakers were the only ones to come in. If I had learned anything while I'd been held prisoner it was that seeing beauty hurts most of all. Flowers, birds, nature, all of it hurt, mostly because, in my self pity, I knew that I would never be beautiful again. Nevertheless I ventured to my window, opened it to the night and looked out. It was spring and the scent of flowers hung thickly in the heat-heavy air. I sighed softly as tears coursed down my hideous face; I reached up and gently brushed them away, though I had not felt them. My face didn't hurt anymore; it had gone numb nearly two days ago. My whole body seemed to be going numb, perhaps soon I would just fade away, perhaps soon I would not exist at all. 

I looked out on the full moon, this was my last chance, the only Goddess I had yet to pray to, Selene, my ancestor. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and murmured my prayer to the night, begging someone to hear it. Selene did not spare me from my memories that night.

_I woke up in a cold sweat one night. For a moment I wasn't sure what it was that had woken me, but then I felt it again. Panic. Everything in me screamed fear. Quickly I got up and dressed as silently as I could. My heart was racing and my mind screamed in my head. 'Run!' it screeched, 'get out now!'_

_ I raced down the stairs and out the front door and for a moment I thought I might get away from whatever it was I was running from, but then I slammed straight into someone's chest. He caught me by the neck and lifted me up so that only the tips of my toes touched the ground. If I'd had the breath I would have screamed in terror, but his hand cut off my windpipe. _

_ "Come on sweetheart," he hissed, "it's time to go." Spots swam in front of my eyes, but I could still see his blue ones glinting back at me, the brutal inhumanity never more apparent, then everything went black._

Hey everyone, I just wanted to warn you that I'm not sure when the next time I will be able to update will be. I'm taking the SATs really soon and I only got a 1260 on my most recent practice test so I will, in all likelihood, be holed up in my room studying like crazy for a while, sorry. Never fear however, I give my solemn oath to complete this story.

-Niamh


	10. Moonstruck Ch10

Ha! I'm back, no more studying!

Before I start, I must apologize for any grouchy comments I may make in my author's notes in these chapters, I am extremely cantankerous (I love that word) today and I can't help it, it isn't anything personal, sorry.

-Niamh

A selection from The History of the Moon.

Selene: an ancient Goddess of the moon. Often depicted with an unnaturally white face, in a chariot pulled by two horses or riding a bull. 

Selene is said to be the ancestor of the Lunarians, ancient humanoids said to inhabit the moon. Lunarians were notoriously peace loving, stemming, perhaps from their relative lack of power compared to their nearest neighbors. In spite of this weakness, however, the moon served as the base for the Silver Alliance, an alliance between the moon and most of the other inhabited planets in the Milky Way galaxy (the most notable exception being the earth). Lunarians are now considered extinct as a result of an attack launched on them by the forces of earth.


	11. Moonstruck Ch11

Lily-chan: I'm tired of dealing with this issue, so, in order to appease you and the other's who will inevitably pop up later (and, in large part because I'm cranky today) I present you with two cited, reliable sources.

Ar·te·mis _n._ _Greek Mythology_

The virgin goddess of the hunt and the moon and twin sister of Apollo.

Source: _The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition_

_Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company._

_Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.___

Di·an·a _n._ _Roman Mythology_

The virgin goddess of hunting and childbirth, traditionally associated with the moon and identified with the Greek Artemis.

Source: _The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition_

_Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company._

_Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved._

Misty: You are right, a story full of simply black blackness doesn't work, don't worry, this one will lighten up (a little) later on, sorry, this chapter is still dark.

-Niamh

"I was an unperson, I did not exist." Shadow's End Sherri S. Tepper

I could feel myself growing number and number with each horrible memory that surfaced. I had been joking before, but I wondered if I really wasn't disappearing, if soon I wouldn't simply cease to exist. I wanted to stop the memories, I didn't want to fade away, but they kept coming, they never stop.

_I've already told you the he… the one who took me… the one with the brutal blue eyes… he never raped me… he brought in others for that, others who were more than happy to oblige. He would always sit in the back of the room, watching with a wicked sneer on his face. Who he brought varied day to day, with who was available, I supposed, and they each had their own style, their own little fetishes. _

_ The first one, the one who took my virginity, he liked to beat me. Every time he came he brought in a new 'toy'. I remember a pipe and a whip and countless other instruments, including his fists, which where extremely capable of inflicting pain without the brass-spiked knuckles he became so fond of near the end. He was, by far, the worst, he would always take pains to make sure I stayed alive and stayed conscious, I always had to be fully conscious. "Not much fun otherwise." He told me maliciously._

_ The second one seemed mostly uninterested in me. It seemed he did what he did out of some odd sense of duty. Which is not to say he didn't take pleasure in it, he took enough to get himself up, but no more than that. He never hit me, nor did he take any pains to make sure I was not hurt._

_ The third was the strangest. The others seemed to be taken over by some animalistic instinct as soon as they entered my room, as if they didn't have any idea of what they were really doing, this third one, on the other hand, was almost gentle. There was always that brutish gleam in his eye, but there was something else as well, like his soul was forced to watch from someplace deep inside himself, like he knew exactly what he was doing but couldn't stop. He confused me more than any of the others._

_ But there wasn't always rape, so others didn't always have to be brought in, though they also liked to inflict pain without taking off their pants. I remember that everyone had certain ways they liked to torture me, but I am long past being able to separate them. I remember screaming and burning, mostly burning, and fancy light shows. Anything more than that is a blur, a hot, painful, burning haze._

_ I tried not to hate them, any of them. I knew that hate would devour me, leave nothing but a hollow shell, but I couldn't help it, hate was so much easier than any of the other emotions I had ready access to, I didn't even know which one of them put this thing inside of me, it could have been any of them._

Hey, this one was _really_ short, sorry, but the next one is much longer and contains many of the explanations I promised. As I said before, I do apologize for any of the cranky author's comments, I am quite crabby today, so please don't take offense.

-Niamh


	12. Moonstruck Ch12

A selection from The History of the Moon:

Saiyan: Ancient warrior race said to inhabit the planet Vegita. According to legend they were extremely powerful and unfailingly ruthless. Origins unknown. Distinguishing features include thick, black, unruly hair, swarthy features and a brown tail.

Last ruling sovereign: King Vegita VII

Last known heir: Prince Vegita VIII

The planet Vegita was overtaken by an unknown force in the year 72 of the Common Era, all accounts suggest the complete annihilation of the Saiyan race.

This race of people was connected to the moon through their Oozaru form (see Oozaru).


	13. Moonstruck Ch13

"There are people who take the heart out of you and people who put it back in." –Elizabeth David

I put a hand, unconsciously, on my belly. It was the one part of my body that hadn't gone numb. I could feel it when the thing…the child…god there was a child inside of me…I could feel it when it moved. It would kick and spin as if it was trying to destroy me from the inside out, perhaps it was. I sighed as tears that I couldn't feel flowed gently down my face.

One of them came in, the woman with blue hair, the one who doctored me. Every time I saw her my heartbeat quickened, she looked so muck like…I thought they had come again. Every time she came in I shuddered, I couldn't help it, but I pretended it didn't happen and she pretended she didn't see so in the end we got along fine. The woman put the bowl she'd been carrying in my hands. "More mush today." She said sitting in front of me on the floor. "This has to be getting pretty boring by now, the same food everyday, someone should talk to them." I said nothing but ate the mush she had brought, the woman chattered at me through my meal, watching me with kind eyes.

When I had finished she took the bowl and set it on the table. "Check up day," she said, gently leading me over to the examination table. Obediently I lay down and placed my feet in the stirrups she'd folded out. With a gloved hand she reached inside of me. The woman talked to me softly, sometimes about what she felt, sometimes about nothing at all. I wondered if this was to take my mind off the pain, should there be pain? I wasn't sure, that part of me had been the first to go numb. "Everything seems fine," the woman said stripping off the glove.

"I wish it didn't," I murmured.

"I know," she said softly, coming to gently stroke my hair, "I know you do."

She stayed there, stroking my hair and holding my hand as I wept. When I had finished she placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head. "I'll be back later," she said, and then she was gone.

Slowly I rose from the table and settled myself back in my corner. I could feel it, by the foreboding in my heart I could feel the worst coming, the one I dreaded above all others, the memory of my betrayal.

_I awoke in a small room, a room I would come to know horribly well by the end of my imprisonment. It was dark, there were no windows and the only light came from a single exposed bulb hanging from the ceiling by a wire. There was a bed with a dingy, hard mattress in the corner and I was chained to the wall._

For a moment I was pulled out of my memory by a movement in the room. Fear gripped my heart, but I could not focus my eyes on my surroundings, the visions were too strong to be pushed away.

_I heard footsteps on the stairs and I looked to the door, waiting to see who would come through. It was him; he said nothing as he closed the door behind him. He walked up to me, jangling a ring of keys in his hands. For a moment I thought he was going to set me free, but I was wrong. He released me from the wall and immediately balled his had into a fist and pummeled me in the stomach. I dropped to my knees, gasping for air._

There was someone else in my room, now I was sure of it. They were slowly making their way across the floor, towards my corner, towards me; I could almost make out their form…

_He beat me until I lay in a pool of my own blood, nearly unconscious on the floor. He then lifted me roughly up to set me by the wall and chained me again. I managed to speak two words to him through my swollen, blood-caked lips…_

The vision was fading and mingling with the sight of my room. I could finally see whom it was who had entered. I nearly screamed when I saw his tousled black hair, but he looked at me with kind eyes.

"_Trunks…why?"_

"Mamoru?" I asked softly. "What are you doing here?"

_Trunks smirked evilly. "The past effects the future effects the past." He said cryptically._

The vision finally faded entirely from the room and I looked into the eyes of the man I loved. "Mamoru?" There were tears in his eyes.

"Usako" he whispered, gently grasping my hand. Suddenly I could feel my hands again, I could recognize my name as my own. Cautiously, Mamoru lifted a hand up to my veil. "Usako?" he whispered again. I was terrified but I nodded slowly. Gently. He lifted the veil off my face and looked at the monstrosity that lay beneath it, but Mamoru didn't gasp or turn away, he looked at me intently. "Does it hurt?" he asked, reaching a hand up. I shut my eyes as he lifted his hand to touch my face. Did it hurt? No, it didn't, I couldn't even feel it anymore. But my eyes snapped open again. I could feel it, I could feel his hand gently caressing my cheek, I could feel it and it felt wonderful, I gasped softly.

Mamoru pulled his hand away, "I'm sorry," he said, "did that hurt?"

"No" I said, snatching his hand back and holding it to my cheek again. "It didn't hurt at all."

Mamoru smiled and gently pressed a kiss against my forehead. "God I've missed that smell." He sighed softly.

I couldn't believe this; I couldn't believe any of it. He was here, Mamoru was here, and perhaps more astonishing, I was here too. He made me exist again. I had a name because he had given it back to me, I had a face because he had touched it, I existed because here was there. I would have almost believed it all a dream but for the child, I would not have let the child into my dream. So this was real then.

"Usako," Mamoru said, taking my hands and looking serious, "tell me what happened."

I felt an arrow of fear shoot through my heart, but it quickly subsided, nothing could ever make me afraid of Mamoru. I told him my story, putting the pieces in order as best I could, failing miserably. By the time I'd finished he had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight into his chest, one of his tears dropped onto the back of my hand as I twisted my fingers into his shirt.

"Did you try to reach us?" he asked softly, "did you try to contact the scouts?"  
"No," I whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

" I couldn't," I said softly "From the second I arrived there I could feel the danger, it was like electricity running through my veins, I didn't want to lead you there, I'm still glad I didn't, they could have killed you."

"They could have killed you" Mamoru said, almost to himself, "How did you get away, how did you get here?"

I sighed softly as the last of the memories took over my mind.

_I was alone in the room, my room. I could not have said how long I had been there or whether it was night or day. By now the place stank of piss and sweat and blood and I could not remember how long it'd been since I'd had a shower. Slowly, softly the door opened and Gohan walked into my room. I could feel my body tense but I could tell that there was something different about him this time, something in the set of his shoulders, in the grim line of his mouth told me that the observer Gohan, the real Gohan, the gentle one was refusing to be forced down, that it was the animal that was watching from that place deep inside of him._

_ "Come on" he said softly, "We have to get you out of here." He unchained me from the wall and gently lifted me into his arms._

_ "Where are the others?" I asked weakly._

_ "They don't remember that you're here" he said softly "not until Trunks brings them down, after they leave they forget, they don't remember anything."_

_ "And Trunks," I asked, "Where is he?"_

_ "He's drunk" he whispered dangerously, "dead drunk."_

_ His tone was ambiguous, he could very well have meant that Trunks was simply passed out in his room and would wake up in the morning with a terrible headache, but the glint in his eye suggested something more, something more sinister, I was afraid to ask._

_ Gohan carried me out into the forest before he set me down. We weren't very far from where I used to take my midnight walks, not very far at all from the blueberry sea, but I couldn't see the beauty anymore. I was as if my imprisonment had changed the way I saw the world, as if my imprisonment had changed the world. _

_ "You have to go on by yourself now," Gohan said, his voice slightly strained._

_ "Why are you helping me?" I asked, not moving._

_ "Because I didn't forget, because I always knew…but I couldn't help myself, it was like something had taken over. We are good men, even Trunks, I swear when he showed up from the future for the third time I had no idea, but he…I can't explain it, I swear we're not usually like this. I'm sorry Usagi…I'm so sorry…I helped you because I fell in love with you…I don't know what-Oh god."_

_ "What?" I exclaimed._

_ "Run" he said through gritted teeth, backing away from me, "It's happening again, Run…Now!"_

_ I scrambled up and stumbled away from him as fast as I could on legs that hadn't walked in months, tears streaming down my horrid face._

Mamoru was silent for a long while. "How did you get back here then," he asked hoarsely when he was finally able to speak again "How did you even get there in the first place…what happened?"

"I'm not sure" I said softly, I had narrated my vision as best I could to him, but Mamoru had always known me better than anyone else, he knew things that I had never told him and I could see it in his eyes. "Sestuna said it was like a fold in time, I went forward in time a few years, how it happened, or how I got back we still aren't sure."

"There's more than that." He stated softly.

I sighed slightly, "I think I skipped dimensions, there is no way that world could have been this world, even in the future."

"You haven't told this to Sestuna."

"No."

"I don't understand," Mamoru said, holding me closer, rocking back and forth, "how could he possibly claim that they were good men after what they did to you?"

"I think he was right."

"What?"  
"I almost felt sorry for the boy, he couldn't have been more than nineteen, I do think he loved me, it's just…I think his heritage was working against him."

"What do you mean?"

I unwrapped myself from his arms and walked across the room, returning in a moment with a worn leather book. "My mother, Queen Serenity, brought this not long after I'd been brought back." I ran a hand over the rough, worn leather, glancing for a moment at the faded, gilded title, when the light hit it just right it read 'The History of the Moon'. I flipped carefully through pages that seemed just moments from disintegrating to a page the binding seemed to remember well and handed the book to Mamoru, pointing to a paragraph in the middle of the page. Mamoru glanced up at me before quickly reading the passage.

"Saiyans?" he asked softly.

I nodded slightly taking the book from him again and flipping to another over-read page, once again handing him the book and pointing to a passage.

"Characterized by a vast increase in ruthlessness accompanied with severe memory loss." He murmured to himself. He glanced up at me, confusion written clearly on his face.

I took the book from him a third time and flipped to the last well-perused page.

"Selene?" he asked.

I nodded silently, taking the book gingerly from his hands and placing it back in its place on the shelf across the room. She was the human embodiment of the moon, and I, being the last remaining Lunarian, inherited some of that so-"

"You caused the human embodiment of _that_?" he finished for me.

I nodded once again. "So you see" I whispered softly, "It was my fault, I was the reason for it all. That explains their eyes and the memory loss and it may perhaps explain Gohan, he was only half Saiyan…it was my fault."

"No!" Mamoru whispered fiercely, wrapping his arms around me again "None of that was your fault."

"It explains everything," I said as if he hadn't spoken "…everything except Trunks, nothing explains Trunks, he was the worst of all."

So, did I surprise anyone? I did promise that this wasn't your typical story. Sorry this one took so long coming out, I was just lazy, but government is over now so I should be able to get chapters out more quickly.

I hope I didn't scare anyone off with the apparently cliché beginning (especially you Sporanox, I hope your still reading this), but the point was to hide twists behind the cliché. Don't think I'm done yet though, I still have at least one more surprise hidden inside this seemingly overdone story.

I want to apologize again for the length (or lack thereof) of these chapters, that usually isn't my style; I'm not sure what happened this time. But never fear, I am already a few chapters into the next story I plan to post and that one promises to have much longer chapters. 

P.S. if there is anyone who, after reading the three chapters I have posted today, does not understand what happened to the DBZ guys please do tell me and I will try to clear that up. (I think it's pretty clear, but I've also known what's been going on for the entire story).

-Niamh


	14. Moonstruck Ch14

A selection from The History of the Moon:

Oozaru: The powerful transformation of the Saiyan race (see Saiyan). Appears in the form of an extremely oversized ape. Characterized by a vast increase in ruthlessness and severe memory loss. Triggered when a Saiyan, still possessing their tail, looks upon the full moon.


	15. Moonstruck Ch15

Ha, I'm back! Good news too, SAT scores came back and Niamh _will_ be attending college! Plus they give my a 'get out of jail free' card for a while, every time my parents get pissed I can just wave that blessed piece of paper in front of their faces, it is wonderful! Bad news comes attached to that though, I will be gone for the rest of this week to go visit colleges and then, on the ah…15th or something I have to go to Atlanta and I'll be gone for a week or so, but I'll try to get done what I can while I'm still here, there is only one more chapter after this one (I think) but Misery is far from finished.

Before I start this chapter I want to thank everyone for reviewing, I don't think I have any questions I need to answer this time (if I missed yours I'm sorry, feel free to yell at me) so I'll just say a blanket 'thanks!'

Oh wait, Sadie Joyce-Myst Lady should get one of her own, she was one of the first to review (actually I think she was _the_ first, but don't quote me on that, ff.net won't let me in right now to check). I think I have lost her though, that's sad, I liked her, she was nice. So if you are still reading this Thanks! (Sorry if I spelled your name wrong, as I said, ff.net isn't letting me in right now).

"Beauty can be disappointed of its children. The worst thing about being a woman is that things can be begot on us, things we do not want, cannot manage, cannot control. We swell to fruitation with disasters implanted in us against out wills. We spew out tragedy. And all the disaster and the tragedy, though begot upon us against out volition, is part us. How much, we wonder. How much was me? What could I have changed?"

"Beauty does not breed true…Mixed with dross, it becomes dross."

-Beauty, Sherri S. Tepper

"So what's the plan now?" Mamoru asked the next morning. He had stayed with me through the night, had held me while I slept, or at least while I tried to sleep.

"What do you mean?" I asked sitting on the bed, munching the piece of toast he'd brought me.

"Where do we go from here? When does Sailor Moon come back?"

"She doesn't," I said softly, my heart sinking. 

"What do you mean?" Mamoru asked, coming to sit next to me on the bed, taking my hands in his.

"I gave up the crystal."

Mamoru's eyes widened, "What?"

"Mina has it, I-I couldn't keep it. If I had…if I'd kept that kind of power I would have destroyed the world long ago."

"And Neo-Queen Serenity?"

"Will now be Neo-Queen Mina." I couldn't help giggling, that sounded so strange, but in another minute I was serious again. "Mamoru," I said softly " I'll understand if you…you could go to Mina if you wanted, I'd…I'd understand."

Mamoru smiled softly and pulled me into his arms. "Sorry Usako," he said smiling "can't do that. I seem to be connected to you, like a little string tied just beneath my ribs. When you go away it hurts so much I can hardly stand it."

"But if you stay you can't be king."

"The power never mattered Usako, you mattered."

"But my face…" I was fishing now and I knew it, but I didn't care, this was something I had to hear.

"I told you Usako, we're connected you and I. When you went away…I did everything I could think of…but it hurt so much…finally I decided to disappear too, I thought…I thought that maybe if I went away too I would be able to find you…when I heard you'd come back…nothing else mattered. We could both be quadriplegics and we'd still be connected. I swear you could be just a head in a jar and I'd still love you."

I couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of me, and for a while at least, all the doubt and pain and fear was washed away to be replaced with a wonderful comfort. "That was gross." I whispered.

"I know." He said, gently kissing my forehead.

Suddenly a horrible sense of dread washed over me. "Mamoru," I whispered frightened, "I'm pregnant."

He laughed at me, kissing my nose. "Really?" he said in mock surprise. "Are you sure?"

"I hit him playfully on the arm. "Shut up." I muttered, "I just realized I hadn't told you."

"I noticed." He said, pulling me closer.

"Mamoru," I whispered pulling away, "I don't know who the father is."

"Haven't you been listening Usako? He murmured, pulling me near again, "do I have to go over the head in a jar again? I love you, it doesn't matter." I smiled softly as he kissed me again.

I moved into an apartment with Mamoru not long after that. We were relatively happy, all things considered. I learned how to do enough of the household work to help him out; I even learned to cook a little. We stayed mostly to ourselves, I had gained enough confidence to stop wearing the veil, but a person could only handle being gawked at for so long. Still, we could not stay completely to ourselves, the scouts visited, and there was the thing…the child. It was due soon, any day now the doctor said; mostly I tried not to think about it. I was at the stove when the first contraction came.

"Mamoru!" I cried as loudly as I could, gritting my teeth through the pain, "Mamoru!"

Mamoru came hurrying into the kitchen. "What is it?" he exclaimed, "What's wrong?"

"The thing," I whispered, "the child, it's coming!"

Mamoru's eyes widened as he raced to the door, "Ok, lets go!"

"Mamoru!"

"What?"  
"I need help!"

"Oh, of course." He came and put an arm around my waist to help me to the door.

"Mamoru!" I cried again.

"What is it?"

"The bags, we need the bags."

"Right." He said, leaving me for a moment to grab the pre-packed bags that sat just inside the door of our room. After that we hobbled awkwardly to his car and raced off toward the hospital.

Labor was a blur of pain and fear for me. I remember Mamoru sitting next to me, holding my hand and speaking softly. I remember the contractions as they tore through me faster and faster, and I remember the single question that reverberated in my mind "When it comes out, will I be able to tell who the father was?"

Finally, eight hours after we'd arrived at the hospital the baby came. I stayed awake just long enough to hear the doctor say, "It's a boy!" before I passed out.

When I awoke the room was bright and nearly empty. The nurses the doctor, the child were all gone; the only one left was Mamoru, who sat slumped in a chair, asleep. I pushed the button to call the nurse and he awoke, smiling lazily at me. I smiled back at him but when the nurse came I struggled to swallow the bile that was quickly rising in my throat.

"Yes?" She said expectantly.

"I was wondering if I could see the…if I might see my son." The words tasted bitter in my mouth, 'my son', I had almost said 'the thing'.

"Of course." The nurse said smiling. "I'll just go get him." She scurried out of the room.

I wanted to see him. I wanted to see the child because I wanted to know, I wanted to know who the father was. Even so my heart had lodged itself in my throat and my hands shook at the thought of seeing the child of my torture, I was afraid. Mamoru had seen my distress and had come to stand by the bed, gently grasping my hand. The only thing that kept me sane while we waited was a mantra that I chanted over and over to myself. 'He's half mine' I repeated silently in my mind, 'he's half mine, he's half mine, he's half mine.' The mantra worked for a while, I suppose, because the first thing I saw when they laid him in my arms were his crystal blue eyes, so clear, so innocent, so much like my own. 

I still amazes me how calm I had become, even as I pulled off that little blue hat, even as a terrible sense of foreboding settled in my stomach, it was like I wasn't even there, I had hidden deep within myself, insulating myself from the truth. As I took off his hat and stared at that loud proclamation of who he was I barely even shook.

"Strange isn't it?" The nurse said from beside me.

"Impossible" I whispered, "he never…" But something else tugged at my memory, something I had almost forgotten, 'The past affects the future affects the past.' Even as I slowly replaced the blue hat, I was still calm.

"What are you going to name him?" the nurse asked.

"Trunks" I said and I tucked the last strand of lavender hair beneath the cap, "his name is Trunks." I no longer cared who the father was.

I wondered a lot if…if I had kept the child, if I had raised him as if-as if I loved him, as if I wanted him, if that would have made things different, changed what had happened, the past affects the future affects the past right? But as I looked at the constant reminder of what had happened, as I watched the shadow growing, the feral glint in his eye that I knew too well, I knew that I could never keep him, could never love him. So I was forced to put my past in the hands of Social Services, knowing ahead of time that they would fail. Nevertheless, Mamoru and I took the child to their office and they promised me that they would give him a good home, and even though I knew it was a lie I gave them the boy, turned my back and willingly walked away from the only chance I would ever have to change things.

Ohhhh! One more chapter! I promise that it will contain many of the explanations you have been longing for, but I can't promise when it will be out. If you are bored, go check out Misery, I hope to put up the next chapter soon (and it has a much more visible and follow-able plot than this one [that was just for you Almaseti, sorry I couldn't fix that in this story for you, it was just too weird]), Misery also promises to be longer than Moonstruck (and less confusing, HA!).

Well review if you feel like it, they make me happy!


	16. Moonstruck Ch16

Sorry this took so long to post, but I was gone for a while and this was a damn-confusing chapter to write, I hope you understand it I tried to make it as clear as possible. I want to thank everyone who took the time to review this, you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (excuse me while I go puke, who wants to feel like they swallowed a sweater? Ha Ha, just kidding!) Anyway, I hope ya'll enjoy this last chapter.

-Niamh

Many of my questions when unanswered for a long time. No one seemed to know anything and it scared me. It scared me not knowing what had happened and it scared me not knowing if it would happen again. Would he find me? Would he take me back? Mamoru tried to help but he offered little to ease my fears. What good would Tuxedo Kamen do against a Golden Warrior? What good would steel tipped roses do against ki blasts? What good would my lover do against my son?

It was months before I found out what Social Services had done with my son, and even then I didn't find out from their offices. I couldn't bring myself to go back there; instead my mother came to me. I hadn't seen her since she had brought me the book and my first answers, now I prayed that she brought me more.

"You look better." She said, tracing a finger down my cheek. It was true, I would never look as I had at fourteen, but the scars had faded and my face was less of a monstrosity.

"Please tell me you have news." I begged, grabbing her hand and holding it in both of mine. "I hate not knowing."

My mother sighed sadly and sat down beside me on the couch gently stroking my hair with her free hand. "It's all extremely confusing." She said closing her eyes wearily. "I don't know if-"

"Just tell me!" I demanded loudly.

My mother sighed again and extracted her hand from mine folding it with her other demurely in her lap. "Very well. Right now your son is in a foster home, he will stay on foster care for a few years, hopping from home to home."

"Is it…the homes…are they?"

"Some will be better than others, some will be comparable to the worst horror stories you have heard, I expect this will be where he collects the seemingly bottomless pool of tortures he will exhibit later on.

"Sometime, about two years form now there will be another temporal shift similar to the one you experienced that will send him into the same world, but some years earlier. This is where it gets really confusing." She said, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "You saw the younger version of Trunks while you were there."

I nodded, I remembered clearly the younger lavender haired boy. "I was told that he was Bulma's son."

My mother nodded, "He was, shortly after he arrives in that dimension he will be adopted by Bulma. So he will be around when you show up, and, though he will not participate, his future self will tell him exactly what is happening. Mirai Trunks will also explain to the child who you are, how you got there and exactly what must happen in the future.

"So when the boy turns sixteen he will travel back in time to establish a relationship with his adoptive family in the past. He will return two more times; the second will be shortly before your arrival. The rest I believe you know."

We sat in silence for a while, it was a lot to take in, I felt that this ought to be something she told to Ami, who had a far better chance of understanding than I. 

"What about the androids?" I asked after a while. "Wasn't that the reason he traveled back in time?"

"Most of it was just a story. It was true that they came, but they never defeated Earth's Special Forces, that was just a story to give reason for his travel back in time."

"And he did it all because…Trunks was the way he was because…"My voice trailed off, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"It was as you thought," my mother said softly. "His two heritages were constantly warring. His Lunarian side had a continuous effect on his Sayain side. For the others the oozaru was a transformation, an unnatural form that hide their true selves, for Trunks the oozaru was his true self."

"Am I safe now mother? Will he…can I…?"

"You can live the rest of your life without worrying anymore about interference from your son."

I felt myself let out a breath I didn't even know I'd been holding as a few relieved tears slipped down my scarred cheeks. I considered for a moment asking her who the father was, but I realized that I didn't care anymore, my son was gone and I'd rather not know who it had been who had gotten me pregnant.

"I must go now" my mother said softly, "Try to be happy dear heart, try to move on." 

I nodded though tears still shone in my eyes and embraced my mother before she disappeared from the room.

I'd like to be able to tell you that we lived happily for the rest of our lives, that the memories never came back, that life and destiny continued on as they were supposed to. I wish I could tell you all those things, I'd be lying. The pain doesn't just go away and the scars never disappear, some days it'd be better to just give up, sometimes it'd be easier to die, but you go on, you fight and you live for the beloved, just as the beloved fights and lives for you and you live…as well as you can to the end of your days. Crystal Tokyo will come in all its beauty and splendor, but Mamoru and I will not be there. We will lay in a grave somewhere, side by side, finally at peace.

THE END

Damn it, I even confused myself! All this time shit sucks! Oh well, that is the end of Moonstruck, I hope you liked it, I hope I can get the next chapter of Misery out soon (apparently I really like M words!)

-Niamh


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